Change

::This is a Poem written in the summer of 2015 called Change::

The Wind - calmly caressing my skin -

Awakens sensations which otherwise remain dormant.

Craving affection, although it could last

But only as long as the Sun takes to set.

And on that moons rise, pulling out the tides,

My heart is torn from my chest -

Dedicating its absence to make you whole,

  to lift you up,

     to heal your wounds.

I give and the emptiness remains.

I take and the emptiness deepens.

Tugging, gripping tightly, I lose myself in you.

My gaze; fixated, stoic, forgotten,

Lost along the way to what peace your presence may bring.

Finding you with your feet on the ground

     your head in the stars-

I pluck your soul from between your lips,

   from behind your eyes,

    from beneath your heart.

Hiding what is known to the unknown,

I close my chest tightly to hold on,

   to keep you.

Resisting, fighting, battling every urge to let go.

If I could just…

Then I would…

Each moment, ever fleeting,

Gasping with each short breath, finally -

I am only filled to have to let go.

My soul, porous, spilling its energy

For someone else to soak it up.

I am drenched,

But my heart remains dry.

From my eyes flow sand where I wish there were tears.

Tear open my skin

And discover Life

And all its secrets.

Lie still as my Love pools at your feet, lifting you up,

 as I watch you soar with envy.

Soaring through the skies,

Just lie still.

   Just lie still.

  Let the dust settle and lie still.

Each second passes,

begins and ends,

Circulating like your blood in my heart.

It is your blood that rests in me,

your breath that leaves me,

    your love that saves me.

Our soul - unbroken - revives me.

I am…

Alive…

Awake…

Again…

Deep beneath all desire remains a sacred truth

Which revives and relentlessly feeds the flame below my heart

In the moment I awake;

From a slumber that carries me through distant universes.

In my slumber, whilst dispelling fear,

I am unknowingly searching for this sacred truth.

Clawing through the rubble, uncovering clues, reconnecting lost pieces of myself

I find answers, but only

to awake again with a fraction of the truth I once held.

And still I live, spreading the creation of my thoughts,

Ignorant to their manifest.

I feel pained to even imagine

This sacred truth

Lost, abandoned, alone

but only for the absolute fear of

This sacred truth.

I feel pained to believe that Death comes

Without a continued experience, but still,

I fear the pain will never stop, even after death.

So I live,

Ever searching for what already

Lies within me.

Searching my mind,

Digging for the key, unlocking the door to All;

All Knowledge, All Power;

The Door - miles high, miles wide

A billion tons -

Its contents, unfathomable.

I find my fear may be keeping me from recovering this key;

Hindering me from accepting what changes may come,

From accepting the complete unknown,

All at once,

With absolute Faith,

 That it will not destroy me.

But maybe…

Just Maybe…

Destruction of the self is the Key;

Forgetting my name, abolishing my desires,

Removing all brands and labels,

Accepting everything that I know,

As a Lie,

      a Mask,

        a Facade;

Casting a shadow over the true reality

Behind the eyes of Humanity.

Bringing light to what lies within,

I find I can desire myself and need nothing else.

Release me into the wild -

Into the darkness.

Hope becomes Action.

Faith becomes Truth.

Darkness Illuminates.

Further and further,

I will climb, breach, exceed.

 I will…

   I will…

     I will.